LobbyRule Party of Australia

Seats in parliaments are prizes to be won. Marginal seats are much like auctions, too. In safe seats, pre-selection is the prize for a winning candidate. We want everyone to want to donate to our election campaigns , even if the law now says they are not allowed to do so. We are always fit for office.  We usually know how to fit inside the law, even if only on the boundary. We know how to run successful election campaigns with donated money . We love lobbyists wherever they fit on the political spectrum, regardless of their citizenship status, as long as they donate to us right away through various direct and indirect channels. Keeping us right at the centre of political power costs a great deal of money. Please donate now .  We need your money as soon as possible.  There is an expensive advertising budget to meet. Our candidates with ministerial skills not only have the ability to smirk and gloat as necessary on television, they also have the ability to ignore accountability.  Th

We instructed the prime minister to wedge LayBore in a corner behind a submarine dream.  That strategy has worked really well. Several of our mates want a nuclear future for Australia.  An expensive South Australian LayBore Royal Commission attempted to derail those ambitions.   Fortunately, the current LayBore opposition leader in South Australia is a big fan of nuclear stuff. Who needs wind and sun when you can have fun with radioactive isotopes? Defence is all about having fun with dangerous and useless technologies, as even LayBore knows. We want our puppets in parliaments to be fully compliant with the ambitions of our mates.  That is why you should donate now to show your support of our defence policy.

Thinking about the future is a burden , which is why the LobbyRule Party discourages it.  Australia is the land of no worries.  That is why the LobbyRule Party has no worries about the future and no policies to address worries. Copping out of international climate summits sums up our approach to the future. We want Australians to love their weekends of bush bashing in turbo diesel utes.   The Australian environment is big enough for everyone's little hobbies, including the hobbies of the fossil fuel lobby. Getting rid of primitive old graffiti and other unimportant archaeology is good for the bits of the Australian economy we value most.  We want to get rid of pesky ecosystems for similar reasons. Our policies are fair and balanced.  We are great managers.  We have great plans, even though we had no plan at all to prepare for a pandemic. We want to keep right at the centre of power, but not necessarily at the most important international conference in living memory. Worries a

The most important skill of any official LobbyRule candidate, or potential candidate, is the ability to raise funds for our election campaigns.  When they fail to do so, their status in the party is diminished.  They may even be persuaded to leave the party and bother the public in other ways . Being loud and controversial is often necessary as a way to raise one's public profile. But putting ideas about war into the heads of international bullies is not a good idea, whether on one occasion or more , in a pandemic or otherwise. The LobbyRule Party in South Australia is at war with itself .  It is even muddled up about how to raise money for state and federal election campaigns. The federal government itself has no idea of the meaning of representative democracy . In previous years, its members have been very happy to oblige foreign requests for special treatment. In politics, it pays to have lots of money or friends with lots of money . The Young Lobby Born-to-Rulers do thei

Coal is good for the economy. Casinos are good for the economy . Banks are good for the economy . Trade has always been good for the economy . Big political donations are good for the economy . An overheated property market continues to be good for the economy . Reducing red tape is good for the economy . Encouraging voters to take on big debts is good for the economy . Having billionaires as mates is good for the economy . Hiding political donations is good for the economy . Being dictatorial is good for the economy . Money laundering is good for the economy .  Drug trafficking is good for the economy . Killing off poor people is good for the economy . Magical thinking is good for the economy . Gambling is good for the economy . Alcohol consumption is good for the economy . Looking after the rich is good for the economy . Expensive election campaigns are good for the economy . Looking happy, confident and successful is good for the economy . Scamming voters is good for the economy .

Australia is mainly a mine.  If you own a bit of it, you may say it is yours, at least if you have no loans associated with it. Our sit on it policy is all about propping up prosperity in Australia, whether for wealthy Australians or wealthy foreign investors, including aggressive property developers from wherever they may originate. Many good businesses from past-it industries are having trouble getting loans at present, whether locally or internationally.  They are not even able to find new money through the stock market. Our sit on it policy is helping those businesses to keep going.  That is mostly because they are export industries and/or they are owned by big lobbyists/donors and/or we need the votes of the people working in those industries if we are to stay in power. We also provide public subsidies for our mates.  That is how they can buy the products of past-it industries, even during droughts, floods and cyclones. If you are an ordinary Australian, we want you to be

The best way to have a really hot climate policy is by not having a plan. That is why we are spending so much public money on technology, especially military technology. When we can win votes with the idea that we have a plan, we advertise the idea.   To help pay for the advertising, and thereby support Our Really Hot Climate Policy , send your donation now .   (Not authorised by future Australians)

The resources of the Government of Australia are the resources of the LobbyRule Party of Australia.  We have won them fair and square in several elections now, with a little help from our media friends and donor mates. The LobbyRule Party of Australia is the Government of Australia. We want to own the Government of Australia for as long as it remains a lucrative resource for our mates, the real Australians with big businesses. Although we mainly rule for the cities, our corporate mates involved in digging up the outback prefer putting Nat candidates in rural seats as puppets and gnats. We have easily scammed enough voters into believing we are right at the centre of the political spectrum, and right about everything .  The gullible know we own, and we are, the Government of Australia.  We owe most Australians nothing.

All our candidates are highly trained in the art of the dismissive smirk . Most are also quite competent at the aggressive gloat . While most of our candidates claim to be right at the centre of the political spectrum when seeking to steal votes from the other side, they often think it is fine to wave their arms around to the right.  They particularly do so when shouting about military issues, family issues, environmental issues and funding issues.  While smirks, gloats and denialism help to reduce the number of scandals reaching the news headlines, the main purpose of our political strategy is to keep bums on parliamentary seats when and where it matters most to our corporate coalition partners , the lobbyists. We have done our best to keep News Crap on our side since 1952 .  That has been the best way to win elections and keep News Crap profitable. News Crap has brought and bought Laybore into line , even though that causes problems for voters in differentiating policies.  It i

While some political parties are at the right of the political spectrum and some are at the left of the political spectrum, we pride ourselves on being right at the centre of everything. What else is required of a government apart from giving public money to lobbyists so they can donate it to our party? Book us for a five minute meet and greet at your next sausage sizzle or pub crawl. Our very reasonable appearance fees start from only $14,299.95 per candidate.