In the Land of No Worries

Thinking about the future is a burden, which is why the LobbyRule Party discourages it. 

Australia is the land of no worries.  That is why the LobbyRule Party has no worries about the future and no policies to address worries.

Copping out of international climate summits sums up our approach to the future.

We want Australians to love their weekends of bush bashing in turbo diesel utes.  

The Australian environment is big enough for everyone's little hobbies, including the hobbies of the fossil fuel lobby.

Getting rid of primitive old graffiti and other unimportant archaeology is good for the bits of the Australian economy we value most. 

We want to get rid of pesky ecosystems for similar reasons.

Our policies are fair and balanced.  We are great managers.  We have great plans, even though we had no plan at all to prepare for a pandemic.

We want to keep right at the centre of power, but not necessarily at the most important international conference in living memory.

Worries are unAustralian.  We have already banned them unofficially.  That is why we want to prevent climate protests from happening.  They upset rich kids and their parents.  

We have already told whingeing women to be grateful we have not shot them. 

That is a true blue Australian way to have no worries.

Be grateful you can vote for us and our crazy coalition mates.  They have no worries either.  In fact, their main lobbyists have already shot the future to pieces. 

Our coalition partners have disenfranchised the bush in favour of bashing it to bits. 

Stuff the farmers.  They are a bunch of soft whingers whenever dramatic and/or tragic weather happens. 

The most important task ahead is winning the next federal election.  We want you to vote for smirk and gloat if you are an Australian with no worries.

Ignore Laybore.  Its mob wants Australians to have worries.  That is why it was voted out.

And that is why we are the government.

With our really hot climate policy, we are excited about the future, not worried by or about it.

We are not to blame for China becoming the world's biggest carbon polluter since 2006 or 2007. 

The Chinese economy has only had a bit of help from Australian natural resources and retail businesses.  We did our best to turn that part of the world into a lobbyist-democracy but now we need nuclear-powered submarines to help us deal with intransigence and intrusions. 

The Chinese have plenty of weapons to point at us.  Some have been made from Australian iron ore.  But no worries.

With pig iron Scott in charge, we have plenty of firepower and iron awe of our own, as shown in Afghanistan.  We only failed there because we had the wrong sort of submarines. 

We have joined forces with a really big carbon polluter to keep Australia safe, except if war is declared. 

As far as all international agreements go, documents are either part of our sit on it policy and/or shit on it policy, as the French will concur.

All our policies are good for the economy.

The Chinese have their yellow peril submarines and ongoing grudge about the Opium Wars.  Australia is counteracting that with nuclear-powered rainbow warrior submarines instead of diesel baguettes.

The Opium Wars are likely to continue in Afghanistan whoever is being imperialist in that part of the world.

As the Prime Minister of the English Rich has said, everyone must grow up and take responsibility for themselves.

Australia is not the UK.  We are not going to fill Sydney Harbour with offshore wind turbines.  It would spoil the views for rich Sydneysiders.

We may put a wind turbine in between the opposition benches in the House of Representatives in Canberra, propped up with a few lumps of coal and insulation batts.

The kermits in the Senate want Australians to live in swags in empty high rise car parks.

That would only be a worry if the kermits gained real power.  Fortunately, that will never happen.

The voting public already knows the LobbyRule Party of Australia is very fond of sustainable recycling, especially the recycling of public funds through entities owned by donors to the party.

Even so party fundraising in a pandemic is Scott's main priority at present.  He wants to ensure there are no worries about winning the next federal election.

The PM would have preferred COP26 to be held in Hawaii, of course, at least without bushfires in Australia happening at the same time.

And Scott is only a bit of a Scot, according to one researcher. 

Scott attended the G7 meeting in Cornwall in June mainly as a side trip from his own family history research.

As the Prime Minister for Rich Australians, Scott is slightly concerned he may be mistaken for a Womble at COP26.  That is the real reason for his indecisiveness on going to Glasgow.

Also playing on his mind is the fact that Scotland does not usually have beach weather in November, even though climate change may cause anything to happen. 

The Wombles have been recruited for COP26 to supply marketing spin, hence the concerns at LobbyRule PR HQ, otherwise known as the Office of Prime Minister and Cabinet.

The Wombles are apparently quite able to replace both Scott and Boris with Bungo.